Diddy Roasts BoFN (Part 2)

(See Part 1 of this roast here.)

Diddy: And then there’s Mailman. [Cheers.] Mailman precedes me, way back in BoFN prehistory. Back when Funny Name Fridays were cave paintings. [Chuckle.] I don’t know much about Mailman, except she isn’t male, and she doesn’t deliver it. Hey, that’s a double negative entendre! [Groan.] Anyway, it all goes back to Dave and Arto and their college days. The three of um used to host toga parties or something. Mailman almost never posts, but when she does, whooo! Look out! [Cheers.] So many hits, we have take the view bars in for repairs. But still, Mailman’s an enigmatic figure. She’s the Boo Radley of BoFN. True, she gets more views for one post than I’ll ever get in my life, which is disheartening. But at least she leaves me carved figures in the tree hole!

Thanks, Mailman!

Now, sooner or later I had to get to Amb. [Wild cheers.] And a lotta guys want to get to Amb, let me tell ya! [Woooo!] She has to fight um off! With Hello Kitty slippers. Anyway, whatta gal, Amb! They just don’t make um like that any more. [Woooo!] So charming, so sparkly. Amb could charm Attila the Hun into non-aggression pacts. And she would probably address him as “Hun.” Amb’s so sparkly, you need sunglasses to look at her. As long as they’re the ones Holly Golightly wore in Breakfast at Tiffany’s [Chuckle.] You know Amb’s mad about movies and TV, right? [Cheers.] And by mad I don’t mean upset about what happened to George Clooney’s in Gravity. [Awwww.] Well, I do mean that, too, but I mean mad like wildly crazy enthusiastic. By the way, we can judge posting activity around here by dating Amb’s TV show references. What was the last tv commentary we got from Amb? It seems like it was My So Called Life.

Apply these before gazing at Amb’s sparkliness.

But let’s not forget Rob. [Cheers.] BoFN’s not perfect, no, sorry. Regrettably, we do have nepotism here. But some good comes from it! After all, it was Rob that gave Dave his job here! [Cheers.] We’re all grateful for that, aren’t we? [Cheers.] Dave and Rob like sports, but Dave likes boxing and Rob likes baseball. [Cheers.] If it’s a sport and it starts with B they got it covered, unless it’s badminton, bocce ball or bungee jumping. [Groan.] Rob’s got a sixth sense for finding funny names, let me tell ya. He finds names that are so out there, I started suspecting BoFN was making it all up. I mean, Urban Shocker!? Seriously?!?

(. . . to be continued . . .)

They’re Gr-r-reat!

Last Sunday, my bandmates and I were seated in the green room at church during first service, sweating from the lights and the air conditioner’s inability to find victory against the 106 temps raging outside, trading music trivia as per the usual. When we came to a moment of silence, the acoustic guitarist set his chin on his hand and said, “Boris Karloff didn’t sing ‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.'” This was new information.

“Is that so? Who was it?” another asked.

“Thurl Ravenscroft,” he answered with a nod.

“Thurl?” I repeated. “Does it rhyme with Burl?” I asked, thinking happily of Mr. Ives.

“Indeed.”

It was then that I knew I must share this with you. To be fair, this blog has shared his name before in wdydfae’s seasonal Merry Grinchmas poems. But today, we go just a little further with the man with the amazing name.

Surely you have never known another Thurl. In the world of men’s names that rhyme with it, even those have passed their glory days. I saw an actual photo of a child named Rivirlyn Wyld Jaymes today. (Feel free to Google it.) This generation does not name children Burl, Merle, or Thurl. They pepper names with Y’s the way I pepper a Caesar salad.

It’s a great name. Short and to the point. Not a nickname for something longer. No Thurlson or Thurling. And even those with lisps can say it just fine. I thoroughly enjoy saying it myself.

Now, from the title of this post, you may have gathered Mr. Ravenscroft (a surname that could evoke Gothic literature) was the voice of Tony the Tiger. Yessireee, Bob. It’s his booming bass voice you hear in your head right now. In fact, he lived into his 90s and played Tony for longer than I’ve been alive.

He was also the voice behind “No Dogs Allowed” in Snoopy, Come Home! Such a voice of authority against poor Snoopy. I don’t think his booming bass could get any lower.

So you may be thinking, “Why haven’t I heard of Thurl? He’s clearly amazing.” Well, it turns out that they accidentally omitted his name from the credits on How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Understandably, folks assumed Karloff, the narrator, sang. Others guessed Tennessee Ernie Ford. But no dice. Now, as America begins to right all its wrongs, Ravenscroft has gotten his due credit. In fact, the song hit number 32 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2021, making Ravenscroft a post-mortem Top 40 artist.

Now he can add that credit to his long list of Disney voices, in films from 1939 to 1999, from Pinocchio‘s Monstro the Whale to Kirby (now that’s a great name!) in The Brave Little Toaster. Kind of makes you want to be a kid again. Perhaps a Toys R Us kid? Wait, what’s that? Ravenscroft was also the voice of the Toys R Us Geoffrey the Giraffe? Yep, for several years.

So the next time you hear that low, bass voice booming from his chest, think of Thurl Ravenscroft, the man with the pencil mustache and the awesome name.

Diddy Roasts BoFN (Part 1)

Awright, awright awriiiiight everybody, it’s time to kick off our FIRST . . . Blog of Funny Names . . . ROOOOOOAAAST!!!! Yeah!!! Woooo! How’s everyone doing tonight? . . . Anyone actually out there? . . . Didn’t think so.

At least Kerbey’s here. You can always count on Kerb! [Cheers.] Especially in the comments. [Cheers.] Her favorite tea must be Constant Comment. [Groan.] Kerb and I have to stick together. We’re the only ones who post here anymore. [Awww.] And, did you know this? Kerbey’s mom took her to see Rocky Horror Picture Show when she was nine! True story, true story. Yeah, so Kerbey’s been hanging out with Riff Raff ever since. [Groan.]

Just getting started, folks! Now, I can’t truly say Kerbey’s the only other poster left, because we still got Fannie! [Cheers.] Kind of. Sometimes. No disrespect, Fannie! Seriously, we love your posts. [Cheers.] We literally can’t get enough! We call Fannie the adult in the room. Or we would if there was anyone in the room. [Awww.] Fannie’s got her own blog, Irreverent Wisdom. [Cheers.] Fannie’s so sweet! [Cheers.] I just can’t picture her being irreverent. She has to work up the nerve to say “knucklehead.” [Light chuckle.] And then, she has to qualify it: “I’m just joking! For goodness’ sake!” [Chuckle.] Pushing the line there, Fannie. Watch it! [Chuckle.]

You guys warming up to this? Good! Speaking of preheating, there’s Liz! [Cheers.] If Kerb and Fannie are the Steel Magnolias, Liz was our Iron Chef. [Cheers.] Liz did our food posts. [Cheers.] And it was real hardboiled stuff, I’m tellin’ yuh. [Groan.] Yeah, Liz was really cookin’! [Groan.] Not a recipe for disaster at all, no siree! [Groan.] It should be Liz up here, doing this roast. [Groan.] Unfortunately, Liz didn’t have Kerb’s upbringing, so she doesn’t know how to cut up Meat Loaf. [Grooooooan.]

Meat Loaf

Yeah, so many talented writers at BoFN! Like Mark Bialczak. [Cheers.] Whatever happened to Mark? We have a lot in common, Mark and I. BoFN couldn’t get him to stay, and they can’t get me to leave. See the similarity? [Groan.] Anyway, Mark Bialczak, everybody! What flair, what talent! [Cheers.] See? This place used to be so hoppin’, professional writers joined us! Mark’s done music, sports, cinema . . . reviewed movies when they first came out. He musta been the first one to review Caddy Czak. [groan]

But there’s another Mark who made his “mark” here! Mark Sackler, everybody! [Cheers.] What an intellect, what a class act! [Cheers.] He heads up a blog called The Millennium Conjectures. [Cheers.] But over here he conjectures about sports. Mark gives NFL polls. [Cheers.] Lots of um. If he gave any more, we’d have to move the WordPress server to Poll-land. [Groan.] Seriously though, you don’t expect football commentary from such a sophisticated guy. He makes me want to golf clap for touchdowns. [Groan.] When he sees crowd waves at the football stadiums, he calculates the probability amplitude. [Groan.] Advanced stuff. And then there’s Mark’s quotes! [Cheers] So many great quotes from Mark. [Cheers] We call him the quotation Mark. [Groan.]

(to be continued . . .)

See Part 2 here.

Evángelos Odysséas Papathanassíou aka Vangelis

May 17, 2022 marked the passing of an unobtrusive modern musical giant, Evángelos Odysséas Papathanassíou, better known as Vangelis.

A private man who almost never gave interviews, he had an amazing and continually active musical career. For starters, if you watched movies in the 80s you will recognize his theme music for Chariots of Fire:

There’s a mixed message in that video, with Evángelos taking that casual but satisfying pull from the cig before laying down some piano, meanwhile, all that physical activity going on in the background. But that was the 80s, and we didn’t care! Does anyone else miss the Golden Age of Smoking?

For me, the Vangelis classic will always be the opening of Blade Runner:

Suddenly, going to the movies would never be the same again. Come to think of it, that flick also had an impressive amount of ambient indoor smoke.

• 

  . . . like tears in the rain . . .

NPR’s obituary for this musical visionary offers a good thumbnail:

Vangelis was born Evangelos Odysseas Papathanassiou in the Greek town of Agria. He was a self-taught musician who became a young piano prodigy. Then he moved to Paris and co-founded the popular prog-rock group Aphrodite’s Child. The band eventually split and Vangelis got a solo record deal with RCA Records.

In 1981 he composed the score for Chariots of Fire. Its opening theme, with its uplifting inspirational swell and ornate arrangement, was released as a single and reached the top of the Billboard Hot 100. His efforts earned him a win for best original score at the Academy Awards.

The success led him to other film work. Notably, he composed the soundtrack for the original Blade Runner, as well as Carl Sagan’s PBS documentary series Cosmos.

The notice in The Guardian has more detail, including the fact that it was his concept album 666, based on the Book of Revelation, that caused Aphrodite’s Child to split up. Whatever band members felt about the concept, I kind of like the track “Aegian Sea”:

The Aegean Sea includes Patmos, where St. John the Evangelist had the vision recorded in the Book of Revelation. So, was it just a coincidence that Vangelis’s name was Evángelos? Speaking of which, his other name (also the name of his dad) is Odysséas, which is also prophetic:

Fascinated by space exploration and science, he also composed a score for Stephen Hawking’s memorial at Westminster Abbey in 2018. His final studio album was Juno to Jupiter (2021), named after Nasa’s Juno spacecraft.

So, I hearby invoke my contribution to Funny Names Theory, “The Thelonious Monk Self-Description Prescription Prediction,” which states:

The funny birth name of a creative innovator predicts the key characteristics of the creative innovator’s creative innovation.

I think my humble theorem applies to the great Evángelos Odysséas Papathanassíou as well as it does to the incomparable Thelonious Sphere Monk.

That being said, I can’t do anything with Papathanassíou. So, on that discordant note, I’ll wrap up this post.

Dizzy Gillespie and Chano Pozo: Jazz Bromance

Happy New Year, folks! I wanted to send out 2021 and usher in 2022 with another music post. And also bump that perennial Christmas schtick off the top, because it always gets moldy about this time.

Thus, we now encounter the musical giants John Birks “Dizzy” Gillespie and Luciano Pozo González, better known as Chano Pozo. It’s a legendary meeting of musical minds.

In this fantabulous documentary Latin Music USA we learn how Afro-Cuban rhythms established the heartbeat of Latin music and, transplanted to New York City, became a driving force across multiple musical genres. Here’s a segment:

From the 11 minute mark we meet two guys whose collaborative innovations re-shaped both jazz and Latin music and left an immortal legacy. Dizzy Gillespie, trumpeter, hipster, jokester, composer, arranger and bandleader, was of course a driving force in bebop. But, he was getting sick of the sameness of jazz rhythms.

Dizzy Gillespie

Because of previous work with Afro-Cuban bands, Dizzy asked a former bandleader for intervention for his upcoming Carnegie Hall concert. Cuban conga players were starting to come to New York City, and Dizzy wanted to add someone to his band who played “those tom toms.” He was then introduced to Chano Pozo, another recent arrival from Cuba.

Chano had already been a legend in Cuba. He had a larger than life reputation as singer, dancer, showman, ladies man, bodyguard, street fighter, percussionist, master of Carnival and composer. He was a folk hero to Havana’s poor and downtrodden because of his accomplishments and irrepressible personality. He had written “La Comparasa de los Dandys” which is still a Carnival standard. Chano was also a ranking devotee of Santería, a mystical syncretistic religion that developed in Cuba.

Dizzy and Chano

Chano’s appearance with Dizzy’s band at Carnegie Hall was a mad sensation and Dizzy asked Chano to join the band, somewhat to the dismay of bandmates who were more than a little intimidated by Chano, and not necessarily enthusiastic about the new musical hybrid he brought with him.

Tragically, Chano was shot to death about a year later in a bar, at the age of only 33. The altercation started when he complained about the quality of some dope he’d been sold.

So, the amazing collaboration between Dizzy and Chano ended way too soon, but not before some tremendous work and recording, most notably Chano’s composition “Manteca,” a standard which never dates.

Dizzy never stopped talking about Chano and is said to have called him the greatest drummer he ever knew. “Manteca” lives on as a standard which many Afro-Cuban bands have to try their chops on. Here is a great version by Chicas de la Habana.

Afro-Cuban rhythms continued to intertwine both jazz and Latin music, including the Salsa revolution in New York City in the 1970s. The rhythms also exploded onto the rock and roll scene through Santana‘s famous debut at Woodstock.

Anyways, that’s all I got. Happy New Year to all!