Diddy Roasts BoFN (Part 2)

(See Part 1 of this roast here.)

Diddy: And then there’s Mailman. [Cheers.] Mailman precedes me, way back in BoFN prehistory. Back when Funny Name Fridays were cave paintings. [Chuckle.] I don’t know much about Mailman, except she isn’t male, and she doesn’t deliver it. Hey, that’s a double negative entendre! [Groan.] Anyway, it all goes back to Dave and Arto and their college days. The three of um used to host toga parties or something. Mailman almost never posts, but when she does, whooo! Look out! [Cheers.] So many hits, we have take the view bars in for repairs. But still, Mailman’s an enigmatic figure. She’s the Boo Radley of BoFN. True, she gets more views for one post than I’ll ever get in my life, which is disheartening. But at least she leaves me carved figures in the tree hole!

Thanks, Mailman!

Now, sooner or later I had to get to Amb. [Wild cheers.] And a lotta guys want to get to Amb, let me tell ya! [Woooo!] She has to fight um off! With Hello Kitty slippers. Anyway, whatta gal, Amb! They just don’t make um like that any more. [Woooo!] So charming, so sparkly. Amb could charm Attila the Hun into non-aggression pacts. And she would probably address him as “Hun.” Amb’s so sparkly, you need sunglasses to look at her. As long as they’re the ones Holly Golightly wore in Breakfast at Tiffany’s [Chuckle.] You know Amb’s mad about movies and TV, right? [Cheers.] And by mad I don’t mean upset about what happened to George Clooney’s in Gravity. [Awwww.] Well, I do mean that, too, but I mean mad like wildly crazy enthusiastic. By the way, we can judge posting activity around here by dating Amb’s TV show references. What was the last tv commentary we got from Amb? It seems like it was My So Called Life.

Apply these before gazing at Amb’s sparkliness.

But let’s not forget Rob. [Cheers.] BoFN’s not perfect, no, sorry. Regrettably, we do have nepotism here. But some good comes from it! After all, it was Rob that gave Dave his job here! [Cheers.] We’re all grateful for that, aren’t we? [Cheers.] Dave and Rob like sports, but Dave likes boxing and Rob likes baseball. [Cheers.] If it’s a sport and it starts with B they got it covered, unless it’s badminton, bocce ball or bungee jumping. [Groan.] Rob’s got a sixth sense for finding funny names, let me tell ya. He finds names that are so out there, I started suspecting BoFN was making it all up. I mean, Urban Shocker!? Seriously?!?

(. . . to be continued . . .)